There are days you feel like you’ve done everything right.
The eight year old melts into a puddle of tears because you won’t let her have a playdate with her favorite friend.
Your pre-teen fights with you after a long day of school over a project due tomorrow that he should have begun working on weeks ago.
Your three year old lets a wild baby bunny into the house and it takes 45 minutes to find him and chase him back out, not to mention the clean-up that was needed as a result (yes, this really happened)!
In times like these….I end up struggling with my long-time nemesis: anger. And I’m often the one who loses the struggle.
When we realize that anger is a problem for us, we need a way out. We need to change our mindset so that we can stay calm with our kids when frustrating, “wild baby bunny” situations arise.
This doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time in prayer and the recognition that we need the grace of God even more than we did before!
But I truly believe that it is possible to be a calmer mom so that we can deal rightly with the difficult situations and so that our relationships with their children can be characterized by grace and peace, at least on most days! :)
Here are two mindset changes that I believe can help us to stay calm instead of responding in anger.
BE A PROACTIVE, NOT A REACTIVE PARENT
Consider some of the events or moments that trigger mom tantrums. If I don’t get enough sleep, and then consequently don’t feel well, that is the time when I tend to be more snippy with my kids. Obviously I can’t always get the sleep that I want but by recognizing that this situation puts me in a more tenuous mood, I can start identifying when I’m beginning to get worked up and feel my anger rise.
If you are able to do this, no matter what your trigger, it enables you to find a tool that will keep you from losing control. It might be taking a deep breath and leaving the room you might be reaching over to hug your child. Whatever it is, you can help us to be proactive about situations rather than reactive with our emotions. Don’t be ambushed by your anger.
RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR KIDS ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOUR EMOTIONS
When my eight year old whines and stomps her foot because she feels like I’m being unfair, when the pre-teen and 6 year old are hollering at each other over who gets what Lego creation, when the 3 year old cries and screams because I won’t let her have more cookies, I don’t have to match their reaction with those same emotions.
Moms, we truly do set the tone for our day and our home. Pray for God to give you a peaceful countenance, even if you don’t “feel like it”. Ask the Holy Spirit to prick your conscience when you are starting to allow your kids’ emotions to determine your reactions. Make a point of communicating to your kids that you’re starting to become frustrated so you can work together to get everyone’s emotions under control.
Is anger and losing control a struggle for you too?
That’s why I’m so thankful that Lisa-Jo Baker’s eCourse, Temper Toolkit is part of this year’s Ultimate Homemaking Bundle. I listened to all the course audios on a short overnight trip I took alone and just couldn’t consume them fast enough!
The Temper Toolkit is normally $29 but isn’t currently open to new members except when you buy this bundle. Lisa-Jo is encouraging without being condescending, Biblically convicting without being judgmental, and connects her own story and struggles with strategies that we moms can use for learning to control our temper and respond gracefully to our kids.
There’s so much more than the Temper Toolkit to the bundle to help you in your struggles!
If your struggle is staying organized, getting up early and having a plan for the day that works, The Family Chore System and Planner from Mandi Ehman ($17) and The Sweet Life Vanilla Planner from Laura Smith ($35), plus Your Morning Manual: A Guide & Workbook for Resetting & Maximizing Your Mornings by Emily Bredeson ($15) have some great solutions.
If you want to dig into God’s Word and grow in your faith (and help your kids do the same) but struggle with finding effective materials, check out my family Bible study Minding Your Mouth: A Biblical Study on Taming the Tongue ($8) in this bundle, as well as Matters of the Heart: a 52-Week Scripture Memorization Journey for Women ($10) by Carlie Kercheval and The Dig for Kids: James ($12) by Patrick and Ruth Schwenk.
If you are a working or work-at-home mom and struggle to balance work and family and home life, you’ll benefit from Stretched Too Thin: 10 Days to Overcoming the Hustle and Thriving as a Working Mom ($39) by Jessica Turner and Busy Moms Building: 12 Steps to Running Your Own Online Business for Busy Moms ($29) by Monica Froese.
If you love to learn, but struggle to find a ton of time to actually read, then you will be SO blessed as I have been by the eCourses, online summits and audio courses in this bundle, such as The Temper Toolkit, 30 Days to a Simpler Life, Boost Your Libido, Cozy Minimalist Decorating Class (love this one!!), How to be Frugal, Real Life Money Plan, Boundaries and Margins Webinar, and the Mom Conference! (These are a total value of $372!!)
I could go on and on because there are SO many amazing resources in this bundle—106 of them, to be exact!
Life is fluid and always changing. The challenges I face today are different than the ones I’ll face tomorrow, next month, or next year.
That’s what I love about this bundle. You can identify the challenges you’re facing right now and the 1 or 2 resources that will help you in that area and save the rest to your digital library so they’ll be there when you need them!
Here’s the thing, though: the only way we can get authors and course creators to agree to include their products in the bundle is to make them available for a very short time. And this one goes away in less than 36 hours.
If there are 1 or 2 products that you think would make a difference in your life and those products normally cost more than the price of the bundle, you’re going to want to get your copy before it’s too late!
P.S. Your bundle also comes with over $290 worth of bonus offers (yay!): a $15 store credit from both Strawesome & Cultivate What Matters, a free project box from Kiwi Crate, a lip balm making kit from Orglamix, wool dryer balls from Mighty Nest and more!
P.P.S. For anyone who purchases the bundle through my blog, you’ll be entered into a giveaway to win $50 in children’s books from my Usborne Books and More store!