Why Our Kids Sometimes Misbehave

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It was one of those days where I just couldn’t get the 4 and 7 year old residents in our home to get along. I had a ton of overdue tasks that I needed to finish before the weekend and it just wasn’t getting done! The fighting and arguing continued on and on and no matter what I did (which usually consisted of reprimanding and sending them back downstairs to “try again”), nothing seemed to fix the problem.

freedigitalphotos.net/Clare Bloomfield

You know those moments in motherhood when you feel like you should realize what’s going on but your mind is so busy with something else that you fail to tune in? I was definitely having one of those moments. 

I went on with my doing of chores and other things and then I was suddenly reminded of a friend’s sage advice a few days before.

When my kids won’t quit arguing and don’t want to play with each other, it’s because they just want…me.

Maybe it’s time that I stop trying to stand from afar and correct my children’s behavior so often and spend more time figuring out the source of the behavior. Character training is good, but precious moments spent with mom playing dolls or Legos or what have you is likely what will make the biggest impact on my children.

I’d like to tell you that I will remember this every time a day like this pops up again but the truth is, I won’t. I did spend some time playing on the floor with my kids that day. We designed a construction vehicle with tiny Legos and took Loving Family dolls on a picnic. It wasn’t much, but it was just what they wanted.

When you ask someone what they remember about their childhood, most often they reminisce about a special memory made with their mom, dad or grandparents, not the hours spent learning table manners {although I can think of a funny story about just that!}.

This is a really simple truth but one that should be brought to mind as we go about our days of mothering young ones. Just another one of those things I wish someone had told me as a new mom. What a wonderful way to show love to your children, to give them the gift of your precious time!

“Beloved, B)’>whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7

Shared at Time-Warp Wife, Growing Home  ,Heart+Home, Tending the Home Tuesdays and Raising Mighty Arrows

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Blogger/ Author at The Purposeful Mom
Hi, I'm Jenn! I'm happily married to my college sweetheart, mother to four wonderfully spunky children and a woman who needs a whole lot of Jesus! I spend most of my time taking care of my home and family, reading good books, blogging and dreaming up ways that I can finally have a perfectly organized home--ha!


  1. says

    The truth of this post sort of smacked me between the eyes. It’s so easy to fall into the pattern of “managing” children. As if they’re another task on the to-do list. Just last night I found myself thinking, “why won’t they just play nicely together so I can make dinner?!” Yeah…I know why :) Thanks for a great post.

  2. says

    Such a good reminder! With the addition of our daughter to our family, I’ve realized that I need to intentionally spend more time with my boys so that they know that Mommy still loves them…even though the baby takes up a lot of my time. It definitely takes intentionality and purpose to make time to spend with them. :-)

  3. says

    Oh yes, I totally agree about the table manners and how you don’t want to look back and think you were trying too hard for them to act right when all they need is forgiveness, guidance, and love. LOVE this post!!!

  4. says

    This is such a good reminder! Our kids do need us. I need to start doing so much better about this. Thank you for entering it into our Tending The Home Tuesdays Link up :)


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