We’ve been married 4 years, and have 2 baby girls. We were newlyweds and parents, and it didn’t leave much time for anything else besides diapers and feedings J I love my husband, and wouldn’t ever take back being parents so early in our marriage, because it has strengthened us. Our family is bonded, close and have weathered many storms together. Seeing my husband as a daddy has taken me over the moon and back, he is nothing short of incredible.
But it does leave us bare on the dates, and time for each other. He works straight night shift. 5 pm-5am, sometimes 6 days a week. He sleeps, sometimes not enough, and then up being full time husband and daddy. He is the strongest man I know. I never in my life have witnessed someone so dedicated.
I love my husband, and appreciate him so very much, but ‘us’ isn’t easy. We have literally been on just a handful dates in 4 years. Sometimes we will get lucky and go to the movies, a lunch here and there. We get creative.
Most weeks, the only ‘time’ we get is on Sunday when our children are in the nursery in church and we can actually sit in the pew together and hold hands, it honestly feels like a date! J
Marriage is hard work, but is it very much worth it. Does it come without mistakes and hard times? No. Does it come without sacrifices? No.
It’s a constant action of love, forgiveness, support, and friendship.
I’m am no expert. Just a country girl living real life, but I do have some little tips for a mama and wife that needs someone to tell her “You are doing a great job”. We need to hear it. Working in your home (or outside the home) is the hardest job on this Earth, hands down, and doesn’t leave much room for random and spontaneous choices in the marriage department. These things must be planned J Want to reconnect? Here is what helps us.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know how you feel. Tired, stressed, and discouraged. But sweet mama, if you have a perfume that you love to put on or your favorite lip gloss, steal 5 seconds of the day and put something that makes you feel beautiful, believe me, it will lift your spirits! Hubby WILL notice you did something you feel good about.
- Notice and say something about your husband that goes unnoticed because of a busy life. “You look handsome today” “Love your shirt you picked out today” or “Hey, your cologne smells wonderful”…make them feel good!
- Can’t go out on a date? Get a Redbox and make up some treats in your kitchen. You know what we LOVE to do? Silly, but we get down on the floor like kids and watch movies. It’s amazing how that close it makes us feel.
- Can go on a date? Have a babysitter? Do not miss your date. Under any circumstances (unless an emergency) You need that time with your husband. It’s essential!
- Read the Bible together. Out LOUD. This has made a HUGE difference in our marriage. I can’t even begin to tell you.
- If you can, even once a week, have coffee (tea, or whatever you like) in the mornings and try for a little conversation. It makes a huge difference. Or at night when the babies are in bed.
- TURN OFF THE technology. The phone, the kindle, the computer and get back to the old fashioned ways of reconnecting. Face to face.
- Go new places. I love this one. We live in a small town, and we like to venture out (about once a month) and try new places and new things. It’s amazing what this does for you. It can renew you! Even if you don’t go that far from home!
- Remember back to when you were dating and what gave you butterflies. I do this all the time, because, I still get them with him.
Your husband loves you, treasures you and adores you, even if the stresses of life get in the way. Marriage is an action, not just a word. Its everyday, every minute. If you ever need to know you are doing it well, through the trials and mistakes, you are sister. You are.
Ashley is just a simple country girl, living in the heart of the South with her little family. She writes to help other women, and for Jesus. You can find her at her blog or on Facebook.